Sappho — Catullus — Zachor

Here, the one who is god-like
exceeding great cosmic power
because they command your attention
although not through force
Your laughter — only it can wrench
my heart from depression darkest
For when my gaze meets yours, my voice has
forgotten its place
Tongue swallowed whole, and within
lava bubbles to the pores of my skin,
thunder of the gods cannot be heard, the veil
has concealed my eyes
Tepid sweat envelops, my person rattled
throughout, as bereft as the dead
as I am and inert — as the dirt
covering this Earth
Torpor, Zachor, is your enemy true: torpor
pushes you to the worst of your extremes:
torpor, through the ages, has felled those once of bravado
and celerity
That this Lillith has lilt your heart from within
burning, but not just at both, yet from all ends
her hands pull at the ashen wicks – threads – strings
to this heart’s content
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Sappho — Catullus — Zachor

What To Do

What’s there to do
With your father’s possible suicide
And all you can think about
Is the worst night of your life
And that you haven’t dealt at all
With the regrets you’ve kept inside

You’ve given up on yourself
Over this one big mistake
Oh it was so long ago
Why can’t you just let this go

Coming awake to the cityscape
From behind the wheel, your mouth agape
The memories that precede, left to escape
Sobs bundled in tears barely taking shape

It all comes falling down
It comes tumbling to the ground
Then you can’t pick up the pieces
Juggling it ’til life ceases

But you can take solace in this
Your dad’s still got his best friend
The drugs he’s kept so near and dear
Just to drive away the fear
And he still has his girls
Bent to his will at the drop of a bill

Then there’s the girl
You’d always kiss her in the middle of her sentences
With so much effort you peppered her with sweetnesses
Afraid that her next words would lead her astray
From your path you always knew she wouldn’t stay
And then she was gone

You’ve given up your best friend
To this modern modesty
You’ve lost your spine
That which kept you an honest you

What’s there to do
When all that’s left of the best
Are these rogue strands of hair
Pirating from the high seas of the past
Entangling this in knots
Keeping the treasure locked inside
Where you can still smell
The sweat laced nights
Fighting beneath the sheets we’d swell
Forever marked by her playful bites
Oh what is this hell?!

What To Do

Coming Undone

I walk into a room and can’t stand
The words hanging in the air
This plethora of hapless pontification
It’s tearing at my core, I can’t do it
How will I ever get through this

The nuances of social dynamics
I can see too far into their mechanics
Leaving me enigmatically frantic
Charismatically automatic
Leaving in the havoc of my manic antics
The ashes of fanatic acts volcanic

Well, I’m coming undone
This hapless spiral
It’s ripping me to bits
Oh what have I done
Is it simply a need to be needed
Is that all I want: Some attention
Or do I just want someone else
Someone to feel about me
The way I already do
Someone to fuel my
Self aggrandizing pride
NO
I need one to level me
The one that’ll call me out
I’m always floating so high
In the fantasies of my mind
I need that which will
Bring these fantasies to life
I’ll destroy these fallacies
As the Amalekites
I’ll remember and never forget

So here I am unthreading
Do I settle, lower my standards for everything
Stuck where I am in life, this appointment
Or do I keep on fighting this continual disappointment

What’s there to do with the shattered fragments
All that once filled this absence
The remains of these extreme expectations
The cause of these nearly healed abrasions

But what once was cut will heal
Once the blood will congeal
The scab will then peel
Maybe then I can feel real

Coming Undone