Reality

I am the wolf

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Tonight, I am the wolf
Though not as in reality
But as in the mind of humanity
An attack at the ready
Snarling and biting

I’ll scratch and I’ll bite
And I’ll fight for my life!
I’ll sneak and I’ll snipe
And I’ll fight for what’s right!

Today, I am killing your livestock
Not to satiate hunger or need
Just to infuriate you from your greed
Insubstantiate all that you think you need
We’ll be freed of your ignorance

When you’re just a corpse
And we’ve melted down your horde

With your liver in my gullet
Here’s to your lover with a bullet
Protecting my territory
It’s the end of your history

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I am the wolf

Dear Reader

Mensch, , , , , 1 Comment
Dear Reader,
How do I tell her
That I’ve been chasing her
Ever since high school
But not this
Who she’s become
Who she was then
Not that that was all that great
I mean, she was all that
But I left me high and dry
She moved on into the arms of some other guy
And used me to facilitate
Her hand right into his left
Now I’m boiling over; full of hate
Eyes out the window, contemplating all that is
How do I tell me
That it’s all my fault
Without bending and breaking to the wind
Whispered from her lips
But not this
Who I’ve become
Versus who I was then
Not that I’m worth a shit
Or ever really was, admirable
And I left her just when I’d changed her mind
Knowing it’s my right that I’m right, about this
Her, or my, inevitable lackluster
Disappointment in one or the other
Now I’m welling up; eyes full of tears
Blurring all in sight, setting it all askew
How do I tell the tale
That has transpired
Without betraying
Any of our faults
And all that we’ve become?

 

Dear Reader

Tempered

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Tempered in the fires of society
you’ve been kept in line
within the confines
that they’ll allow
between their predefined
thresholds of deviation
Anything less or more
is left to be moored
by the police-authority

Because you wouldn’t play their game
you refused to pursue
their evangelical
greed for the purse, the money
the proposal of the self
before anything else
You’d rather burn Wall Street
than to walk it in stride
alongside the “apex” life
with an all-too-socialized bride

What? You think your’re original?
That Greek gem,
The Roman puppy,
Your favorite contemporary
have all done this already
You’re stuck sucking from their teat
You just take in their art
process it on a whim
then shit it out with your own
petty pseudo-witty veneer

You’ve let them contain you
in this transparent cage
though less like the diamond you’d prefer
and more like the glass ceiling you’d defer
right back to those who created it
from their palaces up on the hill
they look down without
seeing those they forced supplicant
living in blissful ignorance

We could burn the hill down
melt this rustic cage
if only I could escape this maze
this amaranthine labyrinth
that’s so tragically beautiful
the way it captures my gaze
soon to spit me out
from within its spinneret
in being and mind, wholly new
as a zombie like all of you

Tempered

Assassin

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She thinks you’re everything she wants in a man
But she doesn’t yet realize that she’s still a girl
And that you, well you’re still but a boy
In the shoes of a man that just quite can’t
Decide to be where he is or has been or will be
His future decided by the ill will of his own
In a way that he thinks is “the way”
Or at least persists to those that aren’t him
So that from the outside, he seems clean
Of the perversions he’s seen and caused and been
And she’s stuck with her tears and feelings for him
Though he’s claimed by her ‘best friend’
And has been for many a year
What she actually considers a best friend
Is he, the very same who aims to be clean
But isn’t and hasn’t as proven from years past
Yet the other trifles on as though she’s in love
With a boy she met in years past
That has turned and burned himself to now
What he just always may be remembered by
And for the other, the one, the girl
I wish to stay for her to see how she’s led astray
By her own childish array of rights and wrongs
To maybe one day see the way
Or something close she should follow and lead
Again, I could fuck you better than any of them
And their potential miscreant hoodlum fucks
But all you want is the excitement
Of fucking behind someone’s back
Of the heart, you’re a shitty assassin

Assassin

The Red-Headed Geist

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The red headed left handed geist
Always in motion caught in a fear
If she could only let her hair down
Ever in motion to the wind
With a phonal delivery
Paralleling a Cusack
Always peering from the side of her glasses
Swiping the hair from her face
Mouth pursed somewhere between
A smile or a frown in place
What is this anxiety that plagues you
Why are you so closed to the outside world
Arms crossed in a way to hug and comfort yourself
Or is it a wall, a defense to repel the external
Closed off to cut off your own swath in the world
Always the first called upon
Always the first to leave
Filling your mind with knowledge
Is it to fill an empty heart
Or is this what makes you feel real
Somewhat less like the geist
To give you a foundation
To keep your back straight
And let you walk among and along
In the world of the real boys and girls

The Red-Headed Geist

Two Lies

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I’ve lost two things that meant most to me
I’ve lost that which kept me smiling bright

Oh G-d, I’ve lost my back
Lost the bone that kept
Me up and so straight
All that’s in my head
All these things I feel
It’s too hard to belate

Oh Love, I’ve lost my mind
Lost the dream that kept
Me and mine alright
Keeping me afloat
Soaring lonely skies
Without a bit of fright

I’ve kept these lies from being mine
Broken what bolsters this rind
Keeping from me these truths
Accepting all that sooths

‘Cause these are the two lies
Of that which pries out our eyes
Infecting our blood with lye
Away from the truth, we shall all shy

These are the two lies
That have kept me breathing
These are the two lies
That have kept me dreaming

Two Lies

Recursion, see Recursion

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I’m stuck in this loop
It’s infinitely strange
Recursive in nature
Though it’s not to help
As far as I can tell
It’s here to frustrate
My heart’s contention
In a form of hypertension
Ever it beats to this deceit
And seemingly for the same old story

Another girl needs saving
From her self or her upbringing
Caught in her web she’s spinning
I’m sucking from the bottle her venom
Drinking up all that’s within it
Binding my body and mind in fetters
Pulled by the string the leash
She has but wrapped about her digit

This spiral is winding down
Around the event horizon
Like the tepid water of a toilet bowl
Casting shadows on all that’s alight
Is there an end in sight
To this steady stream of shit
Forcing its way through my veins
Until it’s all I’ve got left
I guess it’s like they say:
To understand it, you must understand it

Yet again I’m lusting for it
The convenience of another fuck
She’s a party girl, she should like me
So just make the most of this
Misused mutual manipulation
Barely walking away bruised to the day
Making your way with a shaken knee
So it will as it ever can be

Now you’re back
Though in this new guise
A new name a new face
The same guile in this smile
You’re but a geist
Of love lost’s past
Here to take heist
Of any joy I’ve amassed

Recursion, see Recursion

Awoken

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I dreamed that you so gently woke me
You woke me with poison down my throat
You were the snake at the foot of my bed
Shedding your skin ashen about
Trying to pierce your way back into my head
But I deflected it, defended against it
In this dreamscape I prevented the worst
Stopped the poison from reaching our hearts

But when I came to I truly woke up
And there you were your blade to my back
With your gums spiked forming some wry smile
And your sharpened tongue envenomed to my ear
I let it in denying what in the night
Was forewarned to be my plight

Now I’m left to the throes of love
Supposedly from above
Thought not but faux pas
Veritably with blodied claws
You left crimson rivers streaming
The proof that you were here
Storming out on me screaming:
“I want you to disappear!”

You sure did betray yourself
In that moment of weakness
Relaying what’s truly within
To be given from you
There’s not much value in it
Doesn’t matter much anyhow
It’s long gone isn’t it
What once could’ve been

The seed that grew was wilted through
Planted in the soot of what came before
Leaving the roots rotten to their core

Awoken

Here I Am, Here We Are

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Here we are you and I
You’ve left me broken and lonely yet again
It’s like I’ll never learn
Left on the floor with all these
Thoughts of what I’ve been
Immature’s a word left for those
Whose swoon is best left ignored
Of your life and all you’ve done I’d have abhored
If not for how great it feels when its peaked
Because of all my interests, at the least, you have piqued

For your sake you fucking fake
I hope theres no heaven and hell
Cause we all know where you’ll dwell
Theres an empty abyss just for you

But I’m the one
Been taken for a fool
And you’re the one
Who thinks we’re ‘cool’
Yeah, I’m the one
Freezing in the pool
‘Cause you’re the one
Stuck in high school

Because here I am and you’re not
Ever gonna come back
I’ll see you ’round sometime
On some other guy’s arm
And you’ll be as you were
On the arm of some other guy

I’m trying to not be bitter and to be your friend
But there’s so much about you I don’t like
Your people eyes, your looks and your lies
The bruises there, between your thighs
All your plies, your sickly guise
I’m done, I’m cutting all our ties

Here I Am, Here We Are

What To Do

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What’s there to do
With your father’s possible suicide
And all you can think about
Is the worst night of your life
And that you haven’t dealt at all
With the regrets you’ve kept inside

You’ve given up on yourself
Over this one big mistake
Oh it was so long ago
Why can’t you just let this go

Coming awake to the cityscape
From behind the wheel, your mouth agape
The memories that precede, left to escape
Sobs bundled in tears barely taking shape

It all comes falling down
It comes tumbling to the ground
Then you can’t pick up the pieces
Juggling it ’til life ceases

But you can take solace in this
Your dad’s still got his best friend
The drugs he’s kept so near and dear
Just to drive away the fear
And he still has his girls
Bent to his will at the drop of a bill

Then there’s the girl
You’d always kiss her in the middle of her sentences
With so much effort you peppered her with sweetnesses
Afraid that her next words would lead her astray
From your path you always knew she wouldn’t stay
And then she was gone

You’ve given up your best friend
To this modern modesty
You’ve lost your spine
That which kept you an honest you

What’s there to do
When all that’s left of the best
Are these rogue strands of hair
Pirating from the high seas of the past
Entangling this in knots
Keeping the treasure locked inside
Where you can still smell
The sweat laced nights
Fighting beneath the sheets we’d swell
Forever marked by her playful bites
Oh what is this hell?!

What To Do