NFG

You should know
I can’t even listen to New Found Glory
Without thinking of you
And I’ve waited too long
And that snow trip we took
I thought I’d found that someone

That snow trip
Where you took my phone and DJ’d all the way home
The triple date
Where I was made fun of for ordering tea
And in the parking lot
And you pulled me in for a kiss in your passenger seat

You should know
Sometimes I think of you for no reason at all
And at other times, for very specific reasons
When I’m watching hockey
Because you’re still the only girl I’ve seen in nothing but my jersey
Or Dr. Horrible
Because just having you near reminds me, “Heads up, Billy buddy.”

And you should know
I can’t listen to New Found Glory without thinking of you
Now it’s been years since we’ve talked
And I’ve no right to bother you with this
So I’ll just lie in my bed lying to myself about what could’ve been
This is where my head’s at tonight
And it’s all downhill from here

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NFG

For You

Girl,
I want you to suck up my soul
And spit it back out
Turn me on
Into just what I can be
Because I don’t know it
Not without you
You’ve lit this fire in my soul
Maybe it was my own kindling

I first noticed you
For catering to my diet
But then you had a boo
For a brief moment in my heart
Warred and raged a riot

I keep my laptop on
Just for you
In hopes that I’ll see you online
Because I can’t be there in person
Just to see your face
I’ll digitize it to keep it fresh
That moment it was right there next to mine
And your face is all red…
Or maybe it was the wine

I wish
To live in that moment
That time you enjoyed my ravishing embrace
I’d live in it for good
Oh, how I yearn

Am I just supposed to like every picture you post
And hope that I can worm my way into your mind
Now I have been ignoring this movie I’m watching
And it’s going to be jealous that you’ve got my attention

I think I’ll just ditch life today
Take this train to Montauk
Live in this dream and fade away

For You

I Want To Feel

I want to feel
Whatever it is that you people feel
When I see you walking along with a smile
When you pull someone close and they accept the embrace
When you try to stifle it but the laughter escapes anyway
When it’s been too long, you hug them, and tears cover your face
I want to feel
Some kind of connection within
Less like I do and more like you
More like a pea in a pod, and less like a leek in the pot
More like the sun in the sky than another star in the night
Less like this smog-ridden air and more like a summer breeze on the beach
I just want to feel
Anything

I Want To Feel

From Dreams: Anthropology Girl

I dreamt of a girl I haven’t thought of in years
Pale skin and bleached blond hair
Though I always like her more in her natural brunette
In yoga pants with a cigarette
Sharing our time in conversation
About everything from Tolkien to Hawking
And in this dream
I held her head in my hands, pulled her in for a kiss
Despite the makeup caked on to hide what she’s made of
We made up, we made out, we made it
We messed around with each other’s heart
The kind of fleeting support that sticks
As a casual thought in the back of the mind
What a good time
Doesn’t need to last
Only to have existed

From Dreams: Anthropology Girl

From Dreams: Reminiscing to Forget

I dreamt of you again last night
You and your dad
And for some reason in black
We were taking a picture
And you stood in front of me
But he didn’t like it too much

Yet your eyes
More real than real
The connection I could feel
In this fabrication

(Now for a chorus)
Hook me up
To the machine
Let me see
Everything
Let me live
In this tale
So I can
Finally feel!

Now I’m at work reminiscing
This nocturnal fantasy
Making a hot fuss of it all in thought
Wiping the tears so they aren’t seen
So they won’t truly know me
Or notice me
Hoping to finally forget you

From Dreams: Reminiscing to Forget

Reconciliation and Recompense

The person I hate isn’t you
It’s the construct of you I’ve created in my head
So really, it’s just me I hate
And you might’ve forgiven me
But I don’t think I ever did
For the crime committed
It’ll never be forgotten
It has shaped the husk of a ‘man’
Living here as I stand
So, like your grandfather, I’m ready for the end.
All I’ve got to do
Pull the trigger and dream away

The person I loved wasn’t you
It was a version of you I’d dreamed of
So really, you were just a fantasy
Another one of my escapist ploys
To dissuade me from living in this world
I wasn’t a real boy
Strings were still attached
Controlled by the puppet master
So, here I am, finally ready to cut the strings
It’s all I’ve left to do
Snip away and fall into the abyss

Reconciliation and Recompense

I am the wolf

Tonight, I am the wolf
Though not as in reality
But as in the mind of humanity
An attack at the ready
Snarling and biting

I’ll scratch and I’ll bite
And I’ll fight for my life!
I’ll sneak and I’ll snipe
And I’ll fight for what’s right!

Today, I am killing your livestock
Not to satiate hunger or need
Just to infuriate you from your greed
Insubstantiate all that you think you need
We’ll be freed of your ignorance

When you’re just a corpse
And we’ve melted down your horde

With your liver in my gullet
Here’s to your lover with a bullet
Protecting my territory
It’s the end of your history

I am the wolf