Dear Girl,

I’m sorry you lied
I’m sorry I tried
I’m sorry I ever cried

I’m sorry I was willing to bear
All that you did
Just to show that I cared

I’m sorry I was so nice
And easily used
Like the itchy lice
Leaving me bemused

I’m sorry you got me high
And left me to dry
Leaving only a taste
When we could’ve had it all

I’m sorry you could so easily
Belate your feelings for me
Til when you feel the need
“Let’s do something for me.”

Dear Girl,
This is my letter to you
I’m trying to end this rut
To mend this feeling in my gut
And to belate
All these feelings of hate

So, Goodbye…
With feet to the plain
And lead to the brain,
Goodbye…

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Dear Girl,

2 thoughts on “Dear Girl,

  1. Your ideas are easy to relate to, but this still needs a bit more tweaking to shine. Romance and heartbreak are timeless, but common, themes in poetry. What makes them interesting is the details unique to those involved, perhaps her the color of her hair left the taste of your mother’s coffee in your mouth and without it you’re always thirsty? Maybe her pegging fetish led her to stray to a kinkier partner? Your rhyme scheme also needs to feel slightly more intentional, it’s clear that you are intending to rhyme but only for rhyming’s sake. Because of the irregular pattern, it’s jarring when you get to “leaving only a taste/when we could have had it all.” The reader is expecting another rhyme there — so consider either making it more patterned or less, but intentional. Keep writing!! 🙂

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  2. Thank you for the feedback! I’ve learned a lot of this since writing this piece. This was copied directly from the notebook that spurned the namesake of this site. Though one thing you mentioned really stuck out to me:

    “leaving only a taste/when we could have had it all.”

    Isn’t this too often the story in life…?

    Like

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