Author: Mensch

Always

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Always all the right

In all the wrong places

And to too great an extent

It’s always the:

What we could be

What you could be

What I could be

She’s always exactly:

One half:

Everything I could possibly want

-Though I have NO idea what that is

One half:

Everything I don’t need

-Be it crazy or insecure or an attention seeker

I’m always exactly:

One half:

Hopelessly romantic

One half:

Fucking crazy

It’s always the smile. I’m a sucker for a girl in need that laughs at my jokes and has a beautiful smile. It’s always a smile so memorable that it haunts you long after it’s gone. Sometimes it’s the teeth, shown wide and proud. Sometimes it’s the guttural, from the heart, laugh that cannot be contained. Sometimes it’s the dimples and nose wrinkles. Sometimes it’s the accompanying eyes that pull me away in a way to say:

“It’s only me and you right now, in this gaze. And you, you alone, put this smile on my face, this joy in my heart.”

Always

The Compliment

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The compliment you gave me tonight
I had to act as though I didn’t already know it
Because I communicate better through touch
Than I ever could with these words
I could trace every line of your body
I could learn it all like the back of my hand
And still not have had enough of you
But what’s there to do but laugh it off

HAH!

Back to the compliment
There was a response
Sitting at the edge of my tongue
If that’s what I can do with touch
You just let your imagination run wild
Just know that I know your body
Better than you imagine you could
Now I’ll just laugh my self to bed

HAH HAH

With my head upon my pillow
I’ll dream of you up against the wall
Your arms held taut above your head
Don’t you dare think for a moment
That I didn’t feel your body tremble
From under the touch of my hand
Oh, you shuddered and not in fear my dear
And as you bite your lip, I laugh at this quip

HAH HAH HAH

We’ll have the jolly best time of this night
In a way to sway Buddy Holly’s innocence
Your heart’s “Goin’ faster than a rollercoaster”
And when it’s ___ and ready, Oh lady, I shall play
To think that I once said, in jest
That you could use me anytime you like
To sneak into my room for a bit of warmth
And you just laughed it off under your breath

HAH HAH

Your unwarranted apology
For being “in one of those moods”
Oh but you were aggressive
In every way you should’ve
Shown me yours, don’t worry, I’d show you how
Oh, I’m seeping my way in
To sweep away the cobwebs from your brain
Left to laugh away the day

HAH!

The Compliment

Writer’s Block

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Writer’s block is the worst
When you’ve got it all to say
It’s at its worst
When she’s left you out to dry
She’s the one
Keeping your love at bay
What else is there to do
There’s not much more to try

You’ve left for me to create
From this blank slate
Too irate to belate
This lowly sickened state

Her love is gone
From your life she has leapt
Nothing but lies
Have spewed from her lips
From you, her love she always kept
You’re amassing sores from all her whips

If I could write something
What would I write
I’d write the words to bring my truest love
The one most made for me
She who could entangle my heart
Yet still leave it to breathe
To focus in my brain
For her to never leave
We’d leave it still, like the water
Looking out, wishing never to escape

We’d disturb the water, ’til it became ever so violent
To cleanse our minds like raging currents
‘Cause only then will we be free
Our minds free, leaving us to be
Ever positive, enthralled with it, embalmed in it
I’m in love with this; in love (with this)

But this page still lies blank
The last one left untouched
This single last canvas
It’s been left unbrushed

So I’ll put this pen to paper
If only to see what comes of it
To see if I can become the shaper
Of that which brings me above this

We’ll see if the words escape
With purpose to take shape
Like some masterpiece
To leave this all in the breeze at peace

Writer’s Block

Always The Same

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I need to rid myself of this
She’s always the same
Always in need of something I think I have to give
All this energy I’ve expended
Always for the sake of someone else

And this new one
She’s just a variation on the same old theme
It’s like some conspiracy
They’ve all banded together for this scheme
Like they feed from my despondency

I’m so tired of always being your rock
You’re beautiful and you just can’t see it
You could be so wonderful
If you’d just let yourself be it
This life you lead could be so blissful

So you just keep that smile on your face
And know that I’ll find mine someday
“You’re the only one who allows me to be me”
Was something you once said
I could be wrong but maybe that was me

Here I am playing the same role
In this neverending play
The protaganist, to become whole
For his love, he must slay
All around and within
As in the end, a tragedy
Or to break free of all that is him
To accept all that should be

Or would or could, these are just words
So just laugh it off, this happy ending
Because one day you’ll see the smiles on their faces
All the props and pawns in their places
In a portrait of where we all could be
Like the end of some old comedy

Always The Same

Intimacy

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Your head on my shoulder
My head on yours
Our hands so close
I can feel the heat
The thought that you just might
Feel this comfortable with me…

It’s probably just the fire
You’re spitting out
It’s this liquid courage
From behind pearly whites
You feign niceties
To keep your part in this play

But I’d like to be your friend
I’d like to mend this bridge by the end
So let’s fan the flames
Let’s bask in this heat
Show them all what a summer’s really like
We could put the Sun and the stars to shame

Your head on my shoulder
My head on yours
It’s the most ancient puzzle
Interlocking like the wheel and fire
Oh old Prometheus
What is this you’ve brought me?
Is this gold or a fool’s errand?

Am I to trip stumble and fall
As I have some many times before
Or am I to subjugate this all
To prove to you what this is all for
This reason to get up in the morning
The smiles produced without warning

It’s the energy in the air
Between our lips, this isn’t fair
When time slows to a halt
For all to witness this enigmatic assault
They’ll all be left in want
Of what we don’t need to flaunt

Your head on my shoulder
My head on your head
All else fades when I hold her
Two hearts, a single thread
To be tied, knotted through
These are the thoughts when I think of you

Intimacy

Hear, O Flower!

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Because today is your birthday
And I missed the important one
All those years ago

As it turned out, I’d have no other way
You the liar, me the tactician
It’s all turned to woe

But I lied to myself too
You were no great listener
Otherwise you would have known
That you really were my flower

What’s there left to do
When there’s no roof, no fiddler
These are the seeds I’ve sown
Here’s to hoping she has all the happiness they’ll allow her

Hear, O flower, the love I once held
It was true and pure, strong and whole
Blessed is the one who can have it in the moment
Then keep it burning for an eternity

But even fire leaves ash to be felled
And that’s no way to fill a heart’s hole
Well, it’s not quite time for this atonement
So I’ll stick with my abnormativity

So for you: Happy birthday!
And for all to come…

Hear, O Flower!

Basements and Benches

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After all you’ve been through
With me helping you through it
We have that basement
If it’s just your brother and sister who know
Or if it’s the entire universe
We have the bench
Whether you’re sick and tired
Or if I’m injured and out of it
We have each other

But that’s not real, not one bit
Reality is that we can’t see a movie on Thanksgiving day
And that one cannot love another at such a young age
The reality, brutal yet true, is that I am crazy
Like the night in the basement
I was locked in, cut off from the world above

Fantasy is what I live for, not reality
Like on Halloween – you a ballerina, me a ‘soul man’
Or after your show, me ‘with’ you at the party
Outside the studio, you crying in my arms
The others just watching and wondering
But I came for support, I was your relief

Reality is: you will always like ‘that’ guy
And I will always love you

Basements and Benches

The Notebook, Blue…

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The notebook blue
These words aren’t for you
It’s spine torn and bent
Every last chance I’ve spent
And sold second hand

So, here’s to you
And hoping you’re not blue
I could try to write the words
To make you soar with the birds
Put a smile on your face, tap your foot with the band

Welcome, to my mind
Time to follow all the lines I can find
And put to paper all that I’ve never said
With your help, maybe we can put this all to bed
Scribble it all out to make it through this

All the errs and fixes I’ve tried to find
Just to maybe set it straight, my mind
From what my right hand has forgotten
To all that has spoiled rotten
Of all this we shall speak, we will get through this

The Notebook, Blue…